I'm Not Afraid to Say It

I am not afraid to say it: I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and yes, even worried. For most of September, I was worried. I had faith, but I was worried. I know that may not seem to make sense, but it is the truth. My family was facing something we knew we had to go through, and while we believed Father God would bring us through it successfully, I still felt anxiety and nervousness, and my mind was all over the place. I could only think about Joyce Meyer’s book, Battlefield of the Mind, because that is exactly where the battle was taking place: in my mind.

I was battling thoughts trying to invade my mind, get me to believe them, and ultimately bring me into agreement with them. And it was affecting me daily. The Word tells us in 2 Corinthians 10:5 to cast down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. It sounds powerful when we read it, but we have to do more than read it; we have to live it. In other words, we have to be more than hearers of the Word; we have to be doers of the Word. I had to pray for myself, and my husband and I had to pray as one, and we also sought the prayers of others who agreed with us for Father God’s will.

The anxiety I was feeling also led to me becoming overwhelmed, not because of the work, the will of God, or the responsibilities He has entrusted me with, but because of my worry. Through this situation, Father God revealed an area where my faith was weak. He showed me where I needed to surrender, trust His decision, and trust that He had our best interests at heart. And I am not afraid to say this either: it was hard. Even with faith, trusting Him in that moment was hard.

Maybe you have been there too. If you have ever felt overwhelmed, you know that it can lead to mental, emotional, physical, and even spiritual exhaustion. This is where I was. And this is also where we, as the Church, as believers and followers of Christ, have to be careful. Many times, we believe that because we are believers, because we have faith in Christ, and because we trust Father God, we should never battle doubt, fear, worry, or anxiety. And when those emotions arise, we deny them because we want to appear as though our faith is unshakable and unbreakable—as though people of faith never experience anxiety. But that is not the truth. Jesus said, “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32). If truth makes us free, then we should want to be free. And if Father is seeking those who will worship Him in spirit and in truth, then truth is exactly what we should bring Him. We do not have to pretend with Father God. He already knows what is happening in our hearts.

For me, remaining in that place could have led me somewhere much worse had I not prayed, confessed, repented, and eventually surrendered to God. In that place of surrender, Father God allowed me to see what was happening. The enemy was trying to use worry and exhaustion to lead me down a path where I could miss God’s timing, start to feel like a failure, question whether I was qualified, and eventually relinquish the very will and purpose Father God has placed on my life. That may sound dramatic, but when we truly understand how important we are to the Kingdom, we stop minimizing who we are to Father God. We begin to understand that what Father God has called us to do and entrusted us to carry is bigger than us.

Ephesians 2:10 reminds us, “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.” So when situations and circumstances arise that feel personal, remember this: as a child of the Most High God, He is likely doing something much bigger than we can imagine. Be careful not to fall into the trap of allowing worry, fear, anxiety, or exhaustion to pull you away from what Father God has called you to do. Be quick to pray, confess, repent, and surrender. And then get back on course. “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” — 1 Peter 5:7

Remember, Father is doing a great work in us and through us. What He is accomplishing through our obedience reaches further than we may ever see or know. And know that the impact is worldwide.